Killer Jane

Got so wound up in trying to organize my life, I forgot to post this yesterday.

Quick update: So glad to see Mark Pazniokas writing in the NYTimes on Sunday. May his tenure be long.

Elizabeth and Darcy, and Emma and Knightley are most definitely in want of some undead company. While I don’t agree that Jane Austen’s novels are boring as written, I do think that adding a few vampires, zombies, werewolves and other denizens of the world of horror will enhance the fun. Jane Austen most definitely did not take her characters seriously except insofar as they provided a sendup of the middle class, middle brow society of early 19th century England. Elizabeth Bennet’s mother and father are a couple of twits, as is Emma Woodhouse’s father. Mr. Darcy and Mr. Knightley are stuffy even when they’re right about proper behavior and proper morals. And the younger girls in most of the novels don’t have a brain in their pretty little heads. The character of Cher Horowitz captured the type perfectly in the movie Clueless. Sadly, Bridget Jones (Bridget Jones’s Diary) is v. arch and too self-aware to qualify as a true Austen heroine.

So why not thrust a bit of Bram Stoker and Mary Wollstonecraft into the parlors and ballrooms and garden paths of Jane’s heroines? Instead of a band of gypsies, Harriet will now be attacked by bloodsucking monsters, and Frank Churchill can whip out his light sabre to save the day. Since Mr. Woodhouse is already scared of the world beyond his hedges, why not give him something real to worry about?

And when Lizzie Bennet gallivants over to Darcy’s estate, she can pull a Buffy and drop-kick a gnome that tries to infect her with flesh-eating bacteria.


One Response to “Killer Jane”

  1. What I’m Reading Now « Lizr128′s Blog Says:

    […] because of my adoration of her novels (see “Austen vs. Gaskell,”   “Glorious Day II,” “Killer Jane,” and because I know her works far better than those of James or Nabokov. I was disappointed that […]

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