Things Left Undone

My friend Flora emailed after I posted the “Tour de Lance” entry saying, “all I want to know is is there anything you haven’t done or experienced?!” I fired back “Yes, there’s lots I’ve never done. Sky diving (wouldn’t dream of it), hot air balloon sailing (would love to try it), driving a race car on a closed track (ditto), really learning a foreign language (intend to start soon.) Come to think of it, you’ve given me an idea for another blog entry!” So here goes, in no particular order.

  • learn to drive an 18-wheeler. That desire has been around for a while and became a major urge as I watched a driver maneuver a big rig from a steep, narrow side street down a steeper, narrower driveway. He then had to jockey the trailer so he could back up to the Record-Journal’s loading bay to deliver paper bales. There was much swearing involved, but he did it. I tried to get the paper to pay for tractor-trailer school for me so I could write about it. Management didn’t want to cough up the $1,800 (if memory serves). At this point I couldn’t pass the eye test, so the idea is moot.
  • take a barge trip along the canals in Burgundy with side trips to explore the little towns. Actually more travel in general would be great. I’d love to see New Mexico and northern California. The latter trip will probably happen this summer. Elsewhere, I’d love to go to Madagascar, but that won’t happen until things settle down. Japan has always called, likewise Greece and the islands in the Mediterranean, most especially Santorini. I’d return to Hawaii for a trip to the Big Island, which I’ve never seen, and to Canada, but this time I’d go to Quebec, which is also terra incognita.
  • write a novel. It’s something I tried once but put away as hopelessly trite. (Couldn’t compete with Mom and didn’t want to try.) Maybe I’d try it again if someone offered me enough money. Actually what I’d probably do is write fiction, call it a memoir, and then go on Oprah and “out’ myself. That way I would guarantee myself sales well into the future, even if my credibility is blown for all time.
  • corollary: publish a collection of poetry. I stopped writing poems shortly after I entered law school and have made only one  attempt since. That was a year ago and it’s still waiting to be revised. But that old stuff is hanging around.
  • run a marathon. If I started training now, I could probably be ready for the Marine Corps marathon (one of the flatter ones) in October 2010! And having barely survived the Virginia humidity with a five-mile run, I seriously doubt 26 will ever happen.
  • stay organized for more than two days. See “Clean Desk = Sick Mind” January 10. I can dream, can’t I?
  • drink a car bomb. Won’t happen because the beverage contains three liquids I can’t abide: Guinness, which looks like molasses and tastes like it’s been drunk before; Bailey’s, which contains just enough real dairy to set off my lactose alarm; and Irish whiskey (you have to spell it with the “e” if it’s comes from Erin), which like all brown liquor sets off the rest of my digestive system. Plus, my parents spent way too much money on braces for me to be slamming a shot glass against my teeth.
  • do an evil-level Sudoku without erasing. Workin’ on it.

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