Breakfast at Denny’s

First a quick shout-out to our ex-gov. Happy resignation anniversary, John. May we never forget your venality.

The following entry probably should have gone up Monday or Tuesday, but I was already behind on other stuff, so here it is.

Larry had a buy-one, get-one-free coupon, so we went to Denny’s for breakfast on Sunday. The menu is complicated, overwhelming even, BC (before coffee). First, a “Slam”? eggs? pancakes? French toast? waffles? OK, eggs. omelette? scrambled? fried? other? OK, omelette.

At this point I thought the decisions would get easier because there’s only one without meat. But then I had to decide: hash browns? grits? oatmeal? Then: biscuit? English muffin? toast? if so, what kind of bread? Or “pancake puppies”? That’s hush puppies made with pancake batter. Wow!

Thank God the coffee (excellent) arrived before my head exploded. The caffeine began to clear the fog in my brain, and I decided on a veggie omelette, grits, and whole wheat toast with butter on the side. Forgot to request the same for the grits, and it came topped with an ice-cream scoop size ball of butter, which I was able to remove before it soaked to the bottom of the bowl. Substituted Tabasco and black pepper for the butter.

Larry had the Grand Slam with eggs, sausage, hash browns and toast. Neither of us came anywhere close to finishing our food. And then I ate a couple of hours later at the baby shower. Was so full that my next meal was a bagel on Monday morning.

Upon reflection, once I’d digested some of the Denny’s breakfast and could think again, I realized that the problem wasn’t just the gargantuan portions, it was also the quantity of fat. The waiter must have brought the equivalent of four pats of butter for two slices of toast and an equal amount on that single serving of grits. Plus the omelette came topped with a mound of melted cheese. Having glanced at the rest of the menu, I realized it was all that way. They serve cheese fries (a truly decadent treat that I came to love when I lived in Phila.), but Denny’s adds bacon. So we have fried potatoes with lots of salt, topped with cheese (fat and salt) and bacon (fat, salt and preservatives). Add some ketchup and you’ve got the other necessary food group: sugar. This stuff is “super size me” with extra doses of fat and salt.

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