Cats Rule, I Mean, Cat Rules IV

This post carries the cats rule headline only because I’m keeping track of them. It’s actually got a bunch of other little items.

Noted with glee: Amazon is accusing Google of creating a monopoly. Talk about the pot …

Noted with extra glee: the Hartford Courant acknowledged that its “aggregation” was in fact plagiarism.

Today is a day for chores because we have two events tomorrow, one Sunday, and one Monday. The one Sunday is here, so I’ll be running to the store (again) and doing laundry and generally trying to figure out what I’ve forgotten to do in what order. Plus there’s a book that HAS to go back to the library and I haven’t finished it.

And I’m going to spend the weekend worrying about my cousin who is spending the five days on her property in the San Luis Valley, which is off the grid, lacks running water or any way to heat what she hauls in, also lacks cell phone service except for some World War II era thing (I think). She’s planning to live on some kind of weird trail rations. And she said if she dials 911 there’s one person for something like 95,000 square miles and the call might not go through on the “Grandaddy Fought in the War” cell thing-y anyway. My cell and I have become inseparable for the next five days as I await her call.

So, to cheer up everyone (or at least me) here’s the next (and mercifully the final) installment of the cat rules.

Sleeping: As mentioned above, in order to have enough energy for playing, a cat must get plenty of sleep. It is generally not difficult to find a comfortable place to curl up. Any place a human likes to sit is good, especially if it contrasts with your fur color. If it’s in a sunbeam or near a heating duct or radiator, so much the better. Of course, good places also exist outdoors, but have the disadvantages of being seasonal and dependent on current and previous weather conditions such as rain. Open windows are a good compromise.

Scratching Posts: It is advised that cats use any scratching post the humans may provide. They are very protective of what they think is their property and will object strongly if they catch you sharpening your claws on it. Being sneaky and doing it when they aren’t around won’t help, as they are very observant. If you are an outdoor kitty, trees are good. Sharpening your claws on a human is not recommended.

Humans: Humans have three primary functions: to feed us, to play with and give attention to us, and to clean the litter box. It is important to maintain one’s Dignity when around humans so that they will not forget who is the master of the house. Humans need to know basic rules. They can be taught if you start early and are consistent.

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