Down the Rabbit Hole With Trend Micro

I should have listened to the computer guy who came to rid the machine of its virus last year. (“A Choice of English.” But I couldn’t find the program he mentioned as I misunderstood what he said. Anyway I renewed Trend Micro, which he said was eating up way too much bandwidth and had obviously flunked virus prevention.

All was fine until this latest virus attack, now fully recovered. Then I discovered that Trend Micro had launched its own attack. Among other exciting weekend adventures, we met with our tax guy. The experience was not as painful as expected so I started working on my accounts for the beginning of this year, logging in expenses. About half way in, I noticed Trend Micro charges on two separate credit card bills. Tried calling, but of course one cannot actually talk to a human being, so I decided to chat. “Conrad” came on the line with promptitude. (It’s not a word but it should be.) Conrad’s initial message indicated that I was only “charge” once. I said, no, twice and that was “charged” with a “d.”

CONRAD: It only appears that there is only one transaction happened on our end, if in the billing statement you saw two charges this might be a “Pre-authorization hold”. [At this point I decided to ignore grammar, spelling, syntax, etc. unless the message was totally incomprehensible.] A pre-authorization is a temporary hold to verify that funds are available when you place an order. It happens when we use our card to a merchant to check if our card can still cover the amount of transaction. Pre-authorizations are typically removed from your card transaction history when the full charge processes and funds are withdrawn. However, in some cases, this process can take up to 2 business days. Rest assured, you will only be charged once for your purchase of the subscription. Please note that card transaction history may display both the pre-authorization and the completed payment as full charges for up to 5 to 7 business days from the date of purchase. If you need assistance removing a pre-authorization from your debit card transaction history, please contact your bank or financial institution.

At this point I realized that the script writer wrote like English was a second, or maybe third, language. I explained to “Conrad” that Trend had received two payments in January from two different credit cards and gave him the dates. There was no indication on either bill that “pre-authorization” was involved. He asked if he could put me on hold. I said yes, wondering if I could ask him where I could find the hold button my computer. I was on hold long enough to read and delete 10 emails, including a couple of newsletters.

CONRAD: It seems that your product has been renew twice. Did you manually renew your Trend Micro Software?

Two problems: 1) This guy has a problem with the past tense. 2) I “ha” no idea what he was talking about. I asked what he meant and once we got that straightened out, he returned to the issue at hand.

CONRAD: What I can do is make a refund request to our online reseller. And I will also cancel the auto-renewal of your product so you will not be billed anymore. The amount will be credit back to your account within 5 to 7. You will also receive a confirmation email of the refund request.

I asked if he meant days, and he said yes.

It’s obvious that I am not alone but I’m not sure if the problem is Order Find or Trend Micro.

After I wrote the above, the following popped up in my email inbox: “As promise, I’ve already request a refund to our online reseller.” Along with a new billing company, Trend Micro needs to teach basic grammar or at least have someone rewrite the scripts. I’d volunteer but I’d be too tense to change tenses. Even scarier: Microsoft’s spel czech wants to change the first “renew” to “renewing” and missed the rest of the flubs.

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One Response to “Down the Rabbit Hole With Trend Micro”

  1. Redux, Redux V « Lizr128′s Blog Says:

    […] Micro added three months to my subscription (free) without telling me. “Trend Confusion”; “Down the Rabbit Hole with Trend Micro ”). I still plan to cancel when the time is […]

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